Everyone experiences grief and loss. Movies and television shows have a way of drawing us in emotionally with just enough of a safe distance that we feel the effects of the emotional roller coaster that our favorite characters are on but safely exit the ride without the whiplash. Many times when enjoying the bodies of work of the vessels (actors and actresses) on the big screen, we are entirely unaware of the sacrifice and personal tragedies that inspire their majestic performances. 

Kelsey Grammer is one of my absolute favorite actors. In my opinion, his best character portrayal is that of Dr. Frasier Winslow Crane on the hit television sitcom Fraiser. My favorite episode of Fraiser is episode 1 of season 6 entitled Good Grief. Mr. Grammer's personification of grief was so raw that it inspired me to do some research and learn more about his personal life and experience with death, loss, and despair. What I discovered was no less than shocking and genuinely made me respect Mr. Grammer along with all other performers who dig deep into their wells of emotional agony to compose and deliver art that is enjoyed by so many.

In this video, I discuss the beloved actors' painful losses and pose the questions "do personal losses help actors in their portrayal of grief and loss?" Who are your favorite television and movie characters? What portrayals of grief and loss have touched you? What personal losses did the men and women behind the character experience that led to their amazing performances? 
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There is nothing more heartbreaking than sitting across from a family that is not mentally or financially prepared to bury a loved one. Two scenarios have the potential to further complicate things, especially for the LGBTQ community. The first is when the person who has passed away is leaves behind a same sex partner who is intentionally omitted from the funeral planning process because of familial or societal views of their relationship. The second is when a transgender or transsexual man or woman who expresses themselves in life as the opposite sex and wishes to be honored and represented in death as they lived is not because their next of kin chooses otherwise. 

Funeral pre-planning or making preened arrangements is the process of making funeral and burial arrangements for someone who has not passed away yet. Funeral pre-planning has several benefits ranging from easing the financial burden and emotional stress that at need (funeral arrangements made once death has occurred) can cause for family and loved ones to taking control and ensuring that final wishes are executed.

This article has been written to accomplish three primary goals. The first is to arm you with the information needed to ensure that your final wishes are brought to life. The second is to empower you to make decisions that will not only bring peace of mind but save you thousands of dollars in emotional overspending. The third is to encourage you to take control of your life’s death plan through what we in the funeral service industry, refer to as pre-planning. 

1. Know Your Rights

You have the right to be remembered and celebrated in death as you have lived. You have the right to choose who is involved in making and bringing your final wishes to life. You have the right to be cared for by a team of professionals who not only respect your dollars but who respect your choices and will honor you as an individual upon your death. Throughout my career, I have overheard several derogatory and inappropriate comments and jokes made about LGBTQ deceased and funeral-goers who attend their services. Pre-screening and interviewing the professionals who will be responsible for your care is 100% permissible. Invest the same energy that you would when selecting a car dealership, doctor, surgeon, or any other professional when choosing a funeral service provider. 

2. Communicate What You Want 

Thinking ahead is, but you must take things a step further and communicate your final wishes and desires to those that you will leave behind. In addition to conveying your wishes to your loved ones, you will need to reach out to the professionals who can help turn your forethought into action and execution. 


3. Put It on Paper 

Not planning for death is a huge mistake that cannot be corrected once you die. Our most reliable allies and advocates, in the end, are the acts of funeral and Estate Planning. Having a will, advanced directive, a pre-need contract, and other legally binding vital information and documentation readily available upon your death that will serve as your voice beyond the grave. 


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Where ever there are people, there will be food. This is no different for funerals and celebrations of life. The food that we prepare, serve and expect when someone passes away is highly influenced by our cultures, religions and where we are located in the world. What foods does your community share upon the death of one of its members? 

​Realization of loss can be triggered by the most simple and seemingly insignificant events. When these realizations occur the wave of emotions can seem unbearable. What are the little things that trigger your deepest moments of grief?  What are the little things you miss the most about your loved ones who have passed on?

Abortion is a very controversial topic here in the US around the world. Because of this there women, men and families hide the grief experienced after abortion in fear of being shamed by society because of their decision to terminate pregnancies. Regardless of our personal feelings, the fact remains that a loss has occurred. Grief and mourning are natural responses to a loss of any kind. EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO GRIEVE.

​Mothers Day can be a painful reminder and trigger for extreme grief. I personally would like to wish a Happy Mothers Day to all mothers and mother figures around the world. For those who are grieving the loss of your mothers and for those mothers who have loss their children; you are NOT alone. You are NOT FORGOTTEN!

After a much needed break I am back, and back with HUGE NEWS!!!!!! I have recently become a Funeral Diva's, Inc. video correspondent. To learn more about @funeraldivas and see my latest video visit their Instagram page and check out the website.

"We Are Funeral Directors and We Rock" Our Voice Matters, We Matter"

A Funeral Diva is a Distinguished Woman that Contributes to the Creation of a Funeral Ceremony.

For more info about Funeral Divas please email FuneralDivas@gmail.com

Website - www.EternalEnterprises.net

​Today, I am answering more of your funeral service questions. 

If you are in the states of South Carolina and Georgia and are seriously ready to begin the preplanning process for your funeral and burial needs please contact me directly at thegravewoman@gmail.com.

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Thank you so much.
Joel "The Grave Woman"

​Nipsey Hussle’s death has created the space for us to begin to have open and honest conversations about death, dying and grief. In this video we lay the foundation for future conversations surrounding the need to heal through accepting death as a constant reality and exploring the stages of grief.